Friday, March 11, 2011

Enough Already, Charlie Sheen

We listened to him blow up during a radio interview when questioned about his lifestyle and how it was affecting his show. We watched the parade of TV interviews he went through; America "oohed" and "ahhed" at his coke-fueled one-liners (I have to admit, tiger-blood is a pretty good line). Morning radio DJ's shitballed corny puns about him and called him a genius, internet polls were maxed out on whether or not it would be fun to trade lives with him, and the news cycle has kept anyone who wanted to know in the know on his life by interviewing his ex-wives, father, brother-in-law, and stripper/porn star housemaids.... seriously, what do those girls do there besides snort K and dance on furniture stolen from the set of Spin City?

But I'm growing increasingly tired of the "intervention/birthday party" we're throwing for Charlie Sheen...

I found this video when looking through (please don't ask me why, I get bored at work, okay?!?) It's Charlie Sheen, using his own insane previous ramblings as part of a fake cooking show for an internet comedy site.

And ohhhhh is it not funny.

Sir Charles of Sheen was fired from Two and a Half Men in recent days, and the "actor's" last real movie was Scary Movie 4 (in which he basically played a parody of himself with a bunch of Playboy Bunnies before getting a giant erection, falling out a window and dying... ACTING!) Obviously still dependent on whatever substances he's taking, Sheen seems to be a bit unfit for a sustained acting role in the near future... So the guy's basically a filmable basketcase.

His "Cooking Show" video seems to be evidence to one of two things; either a) he's desperate for the money due to his addictions and no sustainable income and is willing to take roles that essentially self-parody himself, or b) this is all an elaborate scam Joaquin Pheonix style.

I highly doubt it's the latter.

It's one thing if a celebrity wants to publicly ruin their career and their lives for mass audience enjoyment. Chevy Chase made a career out of it for a couple decades. It's another thing if somebody is asking us to celebrate it with them as though it were a performance. Sorry, but you don't get to justify your addiction and misery by making money off of it and winking at the camera when you're done going on a sleigh ride. If you want to destroy your name and career, then you can do without pretending it's something you want to do.

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